“I believe that in order to truly be free to live our best, most fulfilling lives, we need to learn how to accept ourselves fully, which is why I have listed my signature six steps to loving all parts of yourself and to cultivate self-compassion.  .” - Kelee Love

Introduction:

As a life coach, I've guided clients on transformative journeys of self-discovery and self-compassion. Today, I'll share my personal journey of "Loving All Past Parts of Myself." After my 2012 divorce, I faced substance abuse, mainly alcohol, and deepening depression due to unresolved trauma. This period brought numerous challenges, including employment instability. Life spiraled until I was on the brink of homelessness, with self-esteem at rock bottom. Realizing I needed change to escape self-sabotage—where alcohol masked past pain—I embarked on a journey of healing and self-love.

My inner voice, intertwined with the universe, urged me to attend twelve-step recovery meetings. Seeking inner peace and serenity was part of my quest to love and accept all of my past. Rebuilding trust involved honoring small well-being commitments like making my bed, exercising, connecting with friends, and finding solace in books. Step by step, I reconstructed my life. A crucial aspect of my healing was embracing and accepting all past parts of myself, allowing for deeper self-love.

I believe that in order to truly be free to live our best, most fulfilling lives, we need to learn how to accept ourselves fully, which is why I have listed my signature six steps to loving all parts of yourself and to cultivate self-compassion. 

Step 1: Reflect on Past Unkindness

Start by reflecting on a difficult period in your life when you weren't very kind to yourself. Recognize the limiting beliefs that you may have picked up during that time. Understand that acknowledging the pain these beliefs caused is the first step to releasing their grip on your present and future self.

Step 2: Offer Compassion to Your Younger Self

Imagine speaking to your younger self and offering words of kindness and understanding. Let her know that the events of her younger years do not define her worth. Reassure her that making mistakes is part of being human and that they are opportunities for growth, not reasons for self-condemnation. Embrace self-compassion and release guilt and shame.

Step 3: Identify Neglected Parts

In the present, identify the parts of yourself that need more attention and care. In my blog post “Embracing the Inner Mean Girl”, I speak about cultivating a relationship ith your inner child. However, I now know that it’s not just the inner child that needs our attention. 

When things happen that trigger us into a spiral, oftentimes it’s a neglected part of ourselves that needs our undivided attention at that moment. These neglected parts may be fragments of your younger self seeking validation and healing. Shine a light on your inner world to understand these needs better. It could be self-doubt, fear, or a craving for reassurance and approval. 

The fastest way to find out what part of you feels neglected is to ask yourself “what part of me needs my love and attention right now?” The answer may not come right away, and if it doesn’t spend time nurturing the inner child. Click here to read about your inner child. 

Step 4: Nurture the Neglected Parts

To support and nurture these neglected parts, practice daily self-compassion. Recognize that it's okay to have vulnerabilities and insecurities. Offer yourself the same kindness and understanding you would offer a dear friend. When these parts speak up, listen to them, validate their feelings, and reassure them that they are loved and valued.

Step 5: Learn from Your Past Experience 

Acknowledge the invaluable lessons your younger self has taught you. Embrace resilience, empathy, self-acceptance, and self-compassion. Understand that every experience, even the challenging ones, has contributed to your growth and wisdom.

Take a moment to ask your younger self the following questions:

- What would you like to tell your younger self about the events that transpired in your younger years?

- What limiting beliefs did you pick up along the way?

- What part of you needs more attention from you right now?

Step 6: Write a Love Letter to Yourself

Conclude this journey of self-love and embracing all past parts of yourself by writing a love letter to yourself! Here’s an example of a love letter I’ve written to myself:

Dear Younger Kelee,

I want you to know how deeply I love and appreciate you. You are an incredible, resilient, and beautiful soul. Every step of your journey, every stumble and fall, has brought you closer to the person you are today.

I want you to release any guilt or shame you've been carrying about anything you feel you’ve done wrong.. You deserve forgiveness, from yourself above all. You are worthy of love, success, and happiness. Your imperfections make you human, and they are what make you uniquely you.

I promise to always be here for you, to listen when you need to speak, to comfort when you need me,  and to love unconditionally, just as you deserve.

With all my love,

Kelee 

By practicing these steps, you’ll be guided on the true path of peace with unconditional self love and acceptance. It’s my hope that you allow yourself to embrace and integrate all parts of yourself into a harmonious whole.

Welcoming and accepting all past parts of myself has been a powerful and transformative journey. I invite you to embark on this journey too, to discover the beauty in every part of yourself, and to extend the same love and compassion to yourself that you readily offer to others. It's a journey worth taking, one that leads to healing, self-acceptance, and the deepest form of self-love.

Click here to book your 20 Minute Discovery Call to see HOW Kelee can help you!