“When I ignore my own needs, that’s when my inner child becomes the inner mean girl. .” - Kelee Love

Introduction:

Have you ever experienced that relentless inner critic—the one that never seems to stop pointing out your flaws and telling you that you're not good enough? I have. It's that voice inside your head, the "inner mean girl," that often feels like your worst enemy. But what if I told you that your inner mean girl isn't your foe? What if she's trying to tell you something crucial? In this blog post, I'm going to share my personal journey of loving my inner mean girl and using her messages as a pathway to self-discovery and healing.

The inner mean girl is nothing more than the inner child. Just like a small child, she’s begging for me to give her the attention she deserves. When I ignore my own needs, that’s when my inner child becomes the inner mean girl.

The only way I have been able to quiet her down is to pay more attention to her needs, which is why I have offered my personal step by step practice below.

Step 1 - Morning Check-In: Connecting with My Inner Child

Before I discovered the power of this practice, I, too, was lost and stuck. I carried a heavy burden of anger and fear within me. Each day was a struggle, marked by persistent depression and a profound sense of unworthiness. Self-love had become a distant memory, and my inner light had dimmed to the point where darkness and despair seemed like my only companions. Hope for a brighter future was fading as relentless worry and anxiety tightened their grip on me.

But then, I began my morning check-ins. This simple yet profound exercise helped me connect with my inner child. I asked her, "What do you need from me today?" It opened a dialogue with the younger version of myself, who held the key to understanding my deepest desires and wounds.

Step 2 - Unearthing Negative Self-Talk Patterns

As I delved deeper into this practice, I started noticing recurring themes and feelings within me. I realized that these feelings were like clues, guiding me toward a better understanding of my inner world. To help with this process, I used a feelings wheel to pinpoint the specific emotions I was experiencing.

The events and circumstances in our lives trigger our feelings, but it's our interpretation of them that gives rise to our emotions. I began identifying the negative thoughts attached to my feelings and the negative cognitions that had been shaping my beliefs for far too long. Recognizing these patterns was the first step towards healing.

Step 3 - Challenging the Negative Self-Talk

Once I'd uncovered these negative self-talk patterns, I knew it was time to challenge them. I asked myself a series of questions:

- "Is it really true? If not, what IS TRUE?"

- "Is this healthy for me to believe this way? What feeling, anxiety, or negative cognition am I experiencing?"

- "Is this self-talk serving me or getting me what I truly want?"

- "What do I want to believe to be true?"

This process allowed me to reframe my beliefs and replace destructive thoughts with empowering ones. I began to acknowledge my accomplishments and strengths, nurturing a newfound sense of self-worth and self-love.

Step 4 - Embracing Self-Love and Healing

Loving my inner mean girl wasn't about accepting her negative messages as fact; it was about acknowledging her presence, understanding the wounds she represented, and choosing to respond with love and compassion.

She was like a wounded child seeking my attention, and I learned to address her needs and challenge the negative self-talk. This journey was transformative. It took time and patience, but I was gentle with myself as I navigated my inner landscape. Seeking support from friends, family, and therapy, when needed, was crucial. And most importantly, celebrating each small step toward silencing my inner mean girl and embracing the love and compassion within me.

In conclusion, my journey of loving my inner mean girl has been a remarkable one. It's about transforming your harshest critic into your most compassionate advocate. By adding the morning check-in with my inner child to my routine and challenging negative self-talk patterns, I paved the way for self-discovery, self-love, and healing. Embrace this journey, and you'll find that the love you offer yourself radiates outward, transforming your relationships and your life.

Loving YOUR inner child always,

Life Coach Kelee Love